Talking with your children about Friday's CT. massacre


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Updated: 12/20/2012 10:40 pm Published: 12/14/2012 10:56 pm


When mother, ShaRhonda Crow got the news there was a deadly shooting in Newtown, Connecticutat an elementary school, her first thought was her children’s safety. 

She was at her son’s school Centennial Middle School in Broken Arrow volunteering with the nurse’s staff for student’s eye exams.  She looked on her phone noting that maybe 20 children had been killed by a gunman.  Crow has a 12-year-old Braden, who turned 12 two days ago, on 12-12-12.  She also has a kindergartener, 5-year-old Kaybrie. 

She hugged Braden the moment he came home.

“Braden came through the door and I hugged him immediately and he was like, ‘Mom what is wrong?’ and I said ‘Baby I love you so much.’” said Crow.

Then she asked him if he heard what happened today in Connecticut and he said no.

“I was so impressed that the teachers let the parents tell our children,” said Crow. 

Then she went to pick up Kaybrie from Kindergarten.

“She says, ‘Mom I have homework.’  I’m like ok, ‘Friday homework? What is it?’ ‘ I love you.’ ‘What is it?’ ‘That was it to tell you I love you. I love you my mommy.’ ‘Wow, those are the moments I need because I just cannot imagine those mommies aren’t hearing that anymore.”

Kaybrie brought Play-Doh home with her and made Christmas ornaments.  She made some special ornaments too, angel ones. 

“They watch over me at night,” said Kaybrie.

SharRhonda and her husband, Jason Crow, plan to tell Kaybrie what happened to the children and staff members in Newtown, Connecticut after her husband came home Friday evening. 

“My husband I have agreed we are going to talk about it with her together,” said Crow.  “I tend to be the more emotional one and he is my solid rock, so he will talk with her really well about it.  I think she’ll have questions but realistically, I think she will think about it after we talk with her and that is when it is going to hit her.”

The University of Tulsa’s McFarlin Professor of Psychology, Dr. Elana Newman said as a parent they should start the conversation and allow their children to ask questions. 

“I think it’s really important to ask your kids, do you know what happened today (Friday),” said Dr. Newman.  “It’s important that you are as calm as possible around your child and that your fears and your nervousness is not translated, because that is a lot of it too, your child is watching your reaction.  And there is nothing wrong with saying to your child that you are sad, there were a lot of kids killed today and I am really sad.”

The Crows hope the angel ornaments that Kaybrie made remind her of the children becoming real angels after they were taken so ruthlessly for no reason. 

 

 


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