Date rapes on the rise in Green Country


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Updated: 11/16/2012 9:14 am Published: 11/15/2012 11:07 pm


Meeting a stranger for a blind date or meeting a person you think is a friend is becoming more dangerous.

Domestic Violence Intervention Services reports date rapes in the Tulsa area have risen 87% in the past year.

DVIS reports in September of this year compared to September of last year date rapes tripled from four to 12.

"Hopefully more people are comfortable reporting,” said DVIS counselor Lori Gonzalez.

However, the ease of chatting with someone at a bar or meeting them online or mobile dating is making dating more simple.

"There is always some level of deceit, ‘come get in the car with me, I am a great guy look at where you met me, come to my house,’" said Gonzalez.

Then the unthinkable may happen. 

"I said you need to leave and I went to shut the door and he threw the door open grabbed my arm and carried me to my bedroom," said Jamie.

She is using a pseudonym to protect her identity. Jamie said she knew her attacker.  

"I grew up in the same neighborhood with the person," said Jamie. "Then one day it all changed."

After attempting to attack her she said he stalked her for a year and then sexually attacked her in her home while she was alone.

"I wasn't strong enough to get him off of me,” said Jamie.

She buried the horrific moment for more than a year before she told her parents.

"You play the what if game. What if this had changed? If I hadn't gone over there this wouldn't have happened, if I hadn't opened the door?," said Jamie.

It’s not about the what ifs anymore it’s about being a survivor.

"I wanted to put it away like it didn't happen,” said the rape survivor. "I knew that it had happened and there is no way to forget that something like that happened."

DVIS reports rape exams in the Tulsa area are on the rise.

From January 2011 to October 2011 there were 366 sexual assault exams. During the same time frame this year there were 411. Meaning more than one in ten rapes are date rapes.

"It happens in churches, it happens in schools, it happens all over the place," said Gonzalez.

DVIS recommends you do your homework before you go on a date.

In Oklahoma you can check free criminal records at Oklahoma State Court Network, On Demand Court Records and Oklahoma Department of Corrections websites.

DVIS recommends you also report stalking.

If you are an online dating member and the obsession from someone is not bold such as text, e-mail, phone calls you can keep an eye on who is nearby using  smart phone dating apps where it will show you if members are near you.

In any case of a potential rape or rape you are encouraged to report.

"Sometimes they are just surviving and we really want them to thrive. We want them to move past being a victim,” said Gonzalez.

If you decide to go without someone drive yourself to the date and avoid getting in the car with the date, that way you have control.

"’You know what, I forgot something in my car’ and wait until the next elevator," said Gonzalez.

She recommends you trust your instinct and don't be afraid to make a scene.

"’You know what, I forgot something in my car’ and wait until the next elevator," said Gonzalez. "It's really important to say that 'I am important enough to honor my instincts and I really don't have to worry about if I hurt someone's feelings,’" said Gonzalez.

However, if you fall victim to sexual assault counselors recommend you seek help.

For years Jamie said she felt broken but that silence turned into healing when she went to DVIS.

"Yes, this happened to me but this doesn't make me who I am," said Jamie.

Last year, there were more than 34,000 calls to the DVIS crisis line.

If you or someone you know is in need of help, counseling or medical services you can call the 24-hour crisis line at (918) 7-HELPME (918) 743-5763. The service is free and confidential.

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The views expressed here do not necessarily represent those of KOKI FOX23 - Tulsa

aleman - 11/16/2012 1:25 PM
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No wonder the damned music they listen to,heard one the other day(rap)the lyrics being...how he was gonna rape some b$tch,beat her up then cut her throat which I assume is the romantic tune of it's day but I didn't much care for it being blared out all over the gas station,it could be heard for a half mile,one would expect some tough gang guy to get out of the car...it was a little scrawny neck white boy about 16 years old,you think the little wannabe wasn't influenced by this crap?
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